Me and pain

Hello,

I will write about pain today, the basic and my most favorite bdsm tool.

Pain was my very first kink, first thing I tried and first thing I dreamed about. It all started when I was really young, somewhere between my 7-8 year. I remember that I dreamed about some strange rollecoaster that moves really slowly and there are multiple tortures devices on the way. My favorite was the one that inflicts pain into my legs. I dont know if I have borned with this kink already but my legs are still my favorite part to torture.

I started really slowly back then, with some rubberbands around my anckles, rope around my legs nothing with bondage tho, the pain was important to me. Its hard for me to remember all I tried as its really a long time ago, but what I remember is my first orgasm. it was about when I was 9 years old. I tied my leg in the air to a chair and then did pushups. I holded my free leg on my tied one so the thighs were closely touching and after a while I felt some great feeling. I didnt know what it was but after a while of enjoying this sensation I reached the top of it, felt great pleasure all over my body and then felt on ground without any power left. I was doing this to myself really often, until I found out what is sex, orgasm and masturbation.

When I was between 9 and 10 year of my life, I already knew about sex thanks to my friends and internet. This was a period of kinky silence. I stopped doing pain to myself as I thought that I can have simliar sensation just from masturbation. Im really a orgasmic girl so I never had a problem to cum. Yes sometimes it took me three minutes sometimes twenty, but I can cum at the end everytime. I learned what turns me on, we had some sexualy experiments with my girl friend, I learned how I can have more orgasms then one and I remember how my friends were really jealous about that.

But the important thing happened whan I was about 12 years old maybe a little bit younger. I started to read on the internet about real bdsm, not just rubberbands on my legs and I knew that this is what I want. I remember how I saw a strictly and painfully tied girl and how I had three orgasms looking at that picture.

It went really fast back then, I used clothepins on my skin, everywhere, I tied my legs painfully together, I spanked my ass and my chest. I found a piece of wood in the garden that I used as a cane. But I was really gentle on myself, I never had a marks lasting for more then two hours. Actually I wasnt really into pain, clothepins, spanking and wax was enough for me, but it was a important period because I was practicing a lot of bondage, but there will be another post about that.

When I was about 14 years old I felt like I can tie myself in any position I want, so I started to want more pain. The techniques was still the same, I used various household items, but I used it either for spanking or whipping. What was different was intensity. I started to play for a longer times with myself, so I could take a lot more pain. When I was 14, I bruised myself for the first time and I liked it. I was looking into the mirror on my bruises every hour and I masturbated until my pussy was so sensitive that wearing panties hurts.

This experience gave me a new view on bdsm and on what I want. I limited selfbondage and I enjoyed pain alone. Till that moment I always was in bondage, and pain was as a guest to add more intensity. But that changed. I started to bruise myself more often, the usual spots were my ass, thighs, and chest. I started my sexual life with partner back then and those bruises where problem. We fortunately broke soon after, so he didnt have a time to found out the truth about me.

I was also trying some of the new things like nettles, hot or cold water, whipping with telephone cable that is still my most favorite whip tool since now. But more important then what I did to myself was which part I tortured. I never spanked or whipped my breasts or pussy, but when I turned 15 all these boundaries started to dissaper slowly. I remember my first pussy whipping as a most painfull but also wonderfull sensation. I started to use some weight on my nipples, this was the first time I actually teared a clothepin from my body, it was also great. I think that this year was a top of my painslut me because what I did till now I always enjoyed, I liked the pain as a new pleasure that I added to a sexual one.

When I started to push myself more I found out that I dont really enjoy harder play in the same way. I still liked it, but the pain wasnt pleasure at all, it was a pure pain. All this started with my new clamps that I bought. I couldnt stand them on my nipples for more then few seconds. The spanking was the same, when I tried to push myself behind this invisible limit, it started to hurt a lot more, like suddenly from intensity 5 to 10. I started to play with this new sensation, it was again absolutely different and I use it till now. Sometimes I want to add some pleasure so Im easy on myself, sometimes I want to feel pain so I wake up a masochist inside me.

When I was 17 years old I was obssesed with painfull bondage or hanging bondage. Again I limited a pure pain a little and started to use my ropes more. I tied myself so hard that I had a few days marks left on my body. I developed even a techniques how can I hang myself in the air alone, and Im still practicing and developing it till now. (by hanging I dont mean like by neck but suspension bondage)

I think that Im pushing myself and my limits still further, its slow now, but still pushing. When I was 19 years old I bleed during a play for the first time, not something serious, just a hard whipping. Im sure that I will push even more, no matter how bad it can sound, but the love for pain is inside me, and I dont really want to change it.

I kind of stopped searching new ideas on how to inflict pain to myself, like whipping, spanking, squeezing my skin, hot and cold is enough to me. I rather invest my time into searching a new ideas in humiliation and bondage.

Hope you had fun reading and see you soon in the next post, about bondage.